How Can You Tell If You Have a Flat Tire... in Manila?

Never! There's no sure fire way to help you realize a flat tire in the streets of the Republic. Roads are too damn stupid to drive on. It's broken everywhere. It's like the face of a 13 year old nerd who burst into puberty and end up with craters in his face. And yes, his face is our road.

We always see "Road Under Construction" signs out there but never do we see any results. I know how it is. Everybody does. Politics is such a dirty game for bad old bags like the corrupts we have. If you must know, these scumbags always declare projects to fix our roads to obtain funds. They, in turn, ask a road to be fixed using cheap materials. The money they save buying cheap over quality goods and services - that's where they extort the money they use to buy their luxury cars and homes. And soon enough, the road's broken due to poor quality and needs another fixing and the process goes around and over again. Makes sense, yeah?

If you've ever experienced a flat tire, you get that paranoid feeling that you're gonna be flat every now and then. Especially with our roads so crooked that vulcanizing shops just take advantage of it by laying down screws and nails on those potholes.

There was even a time when I left the house on good wheels. By the time I reached a gas station just outside the village to gas up, I was greeted by "sir you're tire's flat" and saw my poor old tire just squirming. I had it fixed up and behold a nail about 3 or 4 inches in it. "Vulcanize man" said that that kind of nail could never have penetrated through my tire if it wasn't properly planted. Ah of course.

But hey, let me just say that as far as I know, Fort Bonifacio Global City must be the best place to drive at the moment. Not much noticable crackles on the road and just plain smooth driving. Love that place.

Well anyway, through my driving, I've realized you can never really tell when you're running on a flat tire in this country... or at least in Manila where I've been driving. Then again, here are 5 of a few good indications that you are:

* When a wheel goes thug thug thug thug thug continuously like a neverending drum beat, check on it.

* When driving over a speed bump or hump and you hear a crashing metallic sound on one of your wheel spots, yeah you're already running flat.

* When another car tries to drive just beside you, puts its windows down with the driver making some signs. No the driver's not a crazy mute trying to taunt you to a drag race. He's probably pointing on a bad wheel so give it some attention.

* As you slow down on the toll gate and the officer bends down with a grunt face while making a halt sign. Yeah something's wrong down there.

* If you drive an ugly car and everybody's looking at your wheels, don't be proud. You drive an ugly car remember? What are the chances you'd have chrome spinners there for people to stare at. It's either a flat or you just have hideous rims and wheels.

There's a lot more out there. Only it's never the simple noise or unusual weight shift you observe - the damn road's causing it and it's like that wherever you go. So good luck finding signs like you're knowing which hair strand of yours is white without using a mirror.